Julie M. says, "During the height of the pandemic I needed a counselor.
I was having panic attacks and other health problems (I was unaware of) as a frontline worker, and I was in one of the darkest places I have ever known.
Even as much as I needed help it was hard to ask for help and to be vulnerable, especially when I was usually the one, doing the helping.
I do believe that Gods hand was most certainly guiding me to Niki. I had tried counseling a couple of times before, during a divorce many years ago. It was not a good thing; one lady even fell asleep while I was talking!
So, I became a little cynical about counselors, for me.
But this time, I was desperate. I was shaking, I couldn’t eat or sleep, I had lost 20lbs and I was terrified and practically immobilized.
When I heard Niki’s voice on the phone, the first thing that struck me was her easy laughter. Second was her compassion and ability to listen to me and my story.
I was met by this kind compassionate voice in the some of the darkest moments I have ever known. I was assured I would be ok and that the experience I was having was a normal response and a temporary thing, and I would learn to manage my emotions and I would get my life back. I really needed to hear that.
I was not shamed at all for being afraid for my life, in working with Covid patients. In fact, my feelings were validated and explored.
There is no doubt in my mind that Niki was a life- line when I needed one. She has amazing skills and knows what to say and when to say it.
I was so impressed when she shared how she takes care of herself. You see, I felt like I was a burden to her because everyone was struggling with the pandemic and I actually was feeling guilty for feeling so bad when others had it worse, but Niki let me know she was fine and was taking care of herself so she could be there for me and the other clients she served. I could hear that she really was grounded.
That kind of modeling is a stronghold. I think it actually assisted me in progressing because I didn’t feel like I had to hold back to protect her.
Nicki has the amazing ability to create relationship in a very short time. This builds trust in graceful way, and again, I think she helped move me along quicker in the process, because when I can trust, I don’t lose time in muddy waters.
Again, I will say her voice meant everything during times of severe panic.
I want you to imagine this;
I did not see her.
Every place was closed.
People had the stay at home order from the Govenor.
I did not go to her clinic; I don’t even know what her office or place of business looked like.
I only knew that once a week we would talk on the phone about some of the most important things of my life.
I believe this was extremely helpful, because there was no judging,, or second guessing that you might do when you look at someone. There were no eyes that I could be afraid of, no facial expressions I could wonder at. It was like taking a road trip through a very dark place, and looking straight ahead at the recovery road while talking.
I treasure those times immeasurably. I think I would have known her voice anywhere after that.
Now, because we are caught up and using the technology, we do Zoom meetings and it is good to see her too, and maybe someday I will really see her in person! By the way, she is just as warm and friendly on Zoom.
But for now, I will choose to believe she has been a guiding angel in my life who is amazingly smart, who is educating me about my brain and my thought processes with compassion and humor.
I don’t feel defective anymore.
I am learning a lot and as I do, I am able to let go a little more, and I am do my life much better. I could not have done this alone and would not have wanted to do this without her.
I am not fully recovered ….yet….but I know, that I want to share the journey with such a wise, kind woman.
I would recommend her in a heartbeat.
I wish everyone could have a Niki, no doubt, the world would be a better place.
Mine sure is!
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