
My own personal history in a twenty-three year relationship as well as thirty years working with a wide range of couples has given me a broad and deeply rooted perspective on relationships. While I am still open to be surprised, there is probably no type or dynamic of relationship I have not encountered. Most couples come in with at least two issues almost always present. They are usually; poor communication and poor intimacy. It's hard being a couple today. We all tend to live extremely busy lives with obligations and responsibilities that pull us in a million directions.
It's all too easy for relationships to settle into patterns; some healthy, some not so much. The universal dangers are that partners begin to take the relationship for granted and stop putting effort into the process. The other danger is that the unaddressed accumulated "baggage" of the relationship becomes so great that the couple stops listening to each other and reduce each other to a series of arbitrary assumptions. Lastly, couples can fall into the trap that the approaches they try as solutions actually only reinforce each other's undesirable behavior.
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Some standard work with virtually all clients is
Clean up any errors in mentation/cognitive distortions
Psychoeducation in Emotional Intelligence and Social Intelligence
Internalized self concept versus externalized self concept.
Counterdependency v Interdependency v Codependency
First Masters in Counseling emphasized applied behavioral sciences
Second Master in Counseling emphasized pastoral counseling/spirituality and religious abuse
Extensive certifications in addictions as well as personal experience as an addict/alcholic in active recovery.
I am in network for all insurances including medicare based insurances and tricare.
I was co-spoused as a child which makes you an instant therapist. I was also in religious life for four years and sought to incorporate, when appropriate, my love of world spirituality.
As an addict/alcholic working with folks around addictions from alcohol, drug (illicit and prescription) and behavioral addictions including gambling, cyberporn and sex addictions.
I love the Saturday night before Christmas tradition of ringing Greenlake with hundreds of small paper bags with sand in the bottom and a lit votive candle. Also the August OBon (rememberance of the dead) when dozens of lit floating lanterns are pushed out to Greenlake at dusk.
Above anything else - a therapist best practice of being in therapy themselves.
In addition, that they have a clinical supervisor that they periodically review redacted case notes and work.
What do they want out of therapy
What are the willing to risk in terms of perspectives and behaviors - our lives only change to the extent that we are willing to risk change.